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This week in recap

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fri, august 14 - went to the hospital for constant body aches. was told i'm depressed. checked bank to see if my paycheck was in there, along with the money child maintenance wrongfully removed from there and swore up and down for weeks that they would replace (undelivered promise #1483202309401 from those cock suckers). told my now-ex girlfriend the bad news. was told to pack up and get the fuck out.

sat, august 15 - staying at a friend's in the big city, because I had a couple bags of hers full of tools and since I had nowhere else to go i figured I'd take them to her rather than wait till the apocalypse for her to come take them off me. oh, my paycheck is in my bank! oh... I can't touch it, because the hold put on by family justice is still on it, despite them swearing up and down that it was off. big surprise. i lost count of undelivered promises from them. my friend promised me a job in the city, though. at least she will deliver. ...right?

sun, august 16 - made a tinder date (i don't waste time) for monday. drove around the city to figure out how to get there so i wasn't driving around like a moron the day of.

mon, august 17 - friend gives me some numbers to call. i call them. they're not hiring. more undelivered promises. how many more of these am I going to get? stay tuned. i wonder if the hold is off my account, yet. it's not. go to my tinder date. most awkward shit ever, for both of us. i ask her to text me later. she says she will. she doesn't. i check my bank. the money that was in there is gone. friend accuses me of stealing her money, her and her boyfriend start punching me in the face and tell me to get the fuck out. so i did.

tue, august 18 - i wake up in my car after a few minutes of sleep. car is out of gas, pulled off just on some side road 4 hours away from the city. i'm hoping to be dead soon, but it's just not happening. my face is bleeding and puffy. i look like shit. i'm by a campground, and people are driving by with their campers. I'm half on the road, so sometimes they have to wait for the other guy to pass first. they must be pissed about that. the cops come and check me out, then drive away. I try to figure out what to do. my friend is messaging me telling me to come back. i don't answer. i have to figure out what to do. friend's boyfriend calls me and says someone stole his bank card, and that he's 99% sure it wasn't me, but still wants to talk. i don't. i push my car off the road. it's hot. i get in, and wait. maybe i'll just walk. i do.

i walk on the gravel road. sometimes in the ditch. trucks pass me. i don't wave. i keep my head down. a dog is following me. he keeps me company. still waiting to die. it's still not happening. i drink from a creek. keep walking.

...keep walking...

rest. and keep walking...

i want a root beer. there is a town ahead. do i go in? i do. i get a root beer. i walk back. someone gives me a ride to my car. still out of gas. maybe someone has some chores i could do for money. i try to sleep, but just freeze. i freeze, but still don't die. i dream of my ex and her ex. i freeze some more.

wed, august 19 - i start walking early in the morning. trucks pass me. i wave. i knock on every door i pass. the dog is following me again. my friend messaged me saying her roommate admitted to stealing her boyfriend's bank card. i don't reply. my ex said hi, and she's sad. a truck stops and offers water for the dog. i take it. then it gives me a ride to the salvation army. i have lunch. i get gas. back to the city.

thu, august 20 - i wake up in my car. i can't stay here. i go back to where i came from. they ask me what i'm doing back at the place i just came from when they gave me a free tank of gas to get the fuck out of there. i say i heard there was work here. more undelivered promises. i backtrack to a bigger small town, a smaller big city. my ex is worried. i stay at the shelter.

fri, august 21 - i go to the social works building first thing. i call child maintenance. they promise me that a partial refund is on the way. i don't expect it, but i keep checking my bank anyways. almost out of gas again. call places and fax resumes all day. write in livejournal. going for a walk. my body aches are gone. i must not be depressed anymore.
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